why? my dearest readers you ask ‘where have your little ones and you been?’

when you ask me again, i will tell you…MEANWHILE I’M BACK IN BUSINESS!

now i’m extremly kancheongspider over my coming production – ShowOffSix

from day 1 of audition, until now, its been coming 3 months but officially the cast only started rehearsal somewhere in october.

totaled offered roles: 10

rejected: 2

last minute pulled out (as in JUST): 1
it was going well, until the bomb was dropped on photoshoot night. such a pity, she was quite a talent for a first timer on stage.

then the search has begin. i offered to this and to that but non came back with good news…kinda good news – I’M ACTING IT! whoohooo i loved this script…then the moment i begin reading and trying to direct myself, i found it so hard! acting is hard! i salute all you in ShowOffSix and all the rest of the actors in the world. i think i prefer directing. i can place the actors anywhere, anyhow i like them to be on my canvas.

we really wanted a newbie or someone who have done theatre before to do the monologue, afterall its showoff. but to console the committee…ladies and gentleman, THIS IS MY FIRST OFFICIAL MONOLOGUE so i fit the bill!! dun feel so bad stealing the show now ha ha…

i’m so happy people around has been supportive in action – lending me recording device for sound lah, giving legal advise lah, dun mind companying me airport in the wee morning (even though that didn’t happen at the end BUT its the thought that counts!) throwing in their help anywhere EVERYWHERE…SO TOUCH.

next YOU can do something for me…BUY TICKETS lah!

come and give the ultimate support to the cast of ShowOffSix!

here’s a peep at their photoshoot.

since the airing of Channel U – 明星志工队, victoria and i have been catching it every thursday. i want her to see the harsh condition in the many countries the celebrities that goes to help. she doesn’t know the celebrities of course and i don’t think the people they help know that they will be on TV.

every episode moves me. makes me feel really small not being able to help them get out of their poverty. i can only watch and say ’so poor thing. appreciate your life victoria!’ that’s all i can do. but how many of us out there have the ability to help but ignore.

how many of us are still complaining the foreign workers taking nap at theor void deck during lunch time make their area ugly (wabiang! this is real report in the papers ok?! give the workers (foreign or local) a break please!)

i think its a shame that my kids can practically wear something different every sunday to church for a whole year (if i bother digging the hundreds of clothes in many toyogo boxes) most of their clothes are hand me downs but stil so many! and kids of those country wear the same clothe the whole year (realise there’s no ’s’ in clothe).

my kids have toys that is enough for the whole village children to play and my situation is already consider as ‘normal amount’ here.

my kids can play in water featured garden with clean water when those children dying of drinking filthy water cuz of thirst.

whenever victoria food drops on the table, i’ll put it back into the bowl and eat again. many people feel i did the worst thing but with the thought of hungry children in my mind, i rather walk to the tap and wash it and give her again (guilty! i dun wash them, i just chuck it in their mouth IF the table are ok to my eyes lah)

people here are whining their pay kena cut 10%, they can’t finance their car, their kids have to cut 1 enrichment course out of their 10…people there live base on their catch of the day (if they have, if there’s none…you can imagine)

some of you may say its not fair to compare but i guess at least what we can do here is – whine less, help people around (but dun kena the cheaters),  appreciate life, volunteer your time – i know you need a rest day but the difference you make bringing lunch to an elderly make a whole world of difference to them. don’t a be a rich pesticide.

make a difference to the world, make a difference to your life.

since the first episode by a taiwanese host ‘ah bu’, building library, filling it with new books for the szechuan quake children, victoria wants to do the same too. she will once in while suddenly tell me…

‘UH OH! we forgot to build a school for the children.’

‘don’t forget to build a library’

‘they can have my books…except the Dr Suess’

at first i tell her, let’s give what we dun want to the children there since you have som many toys and books…then i quickly change my sentence. why should we give something we dun want to the children? then i told her, what is most precious to you, it’ll be the best for the children there. let’s give Dr Suess to their library.

i can see her face change, but didn’t respond to that. thn change topic…’er…how about the these?’

one day…one day, i hope she will understand.

i’m gonna keep her dream alive, and she will help build school and library and teach other 3years old to read.

wanna join in this big dream to build libraries in Indonesia and India? email me

dear readers,

i sing this song every night to my children but i can’t have you in my arms and sing for you, so i got him to do the job. this is for you. have a great weekend

…just smile

how strange i have reached…32.

what have i achieved? let’s see…nothing much ha ha ha some of you  may consider that giving birth to children is an achievement. hmmm i dun think so leh. i guess the children achievement can only tell when they are grown up and live their life. i hope they are my achievement.hope i live to see that day too.

a lot of us go through the same motion -

baby

roll over

crawl

walk

run

school

school

more school

go poly/uni and do something you think is right (business, money, law…)

work in somewhere you think is right (MNC, bank, lawyering)

then you decide that’s not wat you want and beginning to think of an outlet, even if its to waste your 10years of studying…my my so many years of studies then you decide to go plant tree, dance or sell muffin.

is that all to life?

32 is sorta in the middle of life. life is really short isn’t it. have you enjoyed enough? or stuck somewhere dunno what’s going on or where you going next.

my girls stupid next time never mind. i just hope and pray that they will be kind to people. be considerate and nice. its really important that they have a lot of EQ then IQ. i want them to be compassionate to others. place others before themselves. i know, some of you may think – jia lat liao like sure kena one. then my next hope is they are diligent also lah cannot bodoh bodoh and kena from others. dunno how to do algebra nehmind lah. just have a kind heart. i’ve some across graduate with good jobs acting like the worstest pesticide in the world. so what if you have degree?

maybe i feeling the midlife. what have i done so far?

last sunday’s sermon just reminded us, cannot just know Christ but live like Christ. being christian is hard work. have i gotten that faith? have i begin the great commission? have i tell another one about Him? yikes i dunno how much time will i have to achieve all that God want us to do with our life.

quick quick DO IT! be kind to one another and be a blessing to someone today.

morning. 7.34am.

me: ahh! quick get up! gotta rush again!

vic: why rush?

me: i have to rush to work

vic: i also have to rush to school

me: oh…what will you be rushing to in school

vic: … play toys

me: *roll eyes*

i have decided i shall leave a heirloom for my girls…BUT i no money, no jewellery and nowadays most things very biodegrable that means everything will turn to dust…no wonder people leave their children gold and stocks and shares and houses…oh man jia lat leh…

nevertheless…i have decided, i shall leave my children a my-thoughts book. a book with all my feelings about them. somewhat like a blog but i worry one day internet no longer exist ha ha ha in case lah. i remember i use to put pictures up Yahoo photos but didn;t go back there long time. by the time i try to go and see my ROM pictures ITS GONE! and apparently its a forever gone thing! so there, wordpress may not be here when victoria is 15 .

what i worry is what if i die suddenly? i have so much to tell, teach and share with my girls. shits! what if i die before i can even start penning all my thoughts down for them.

so with that in my brains, i went to popular to choose a really suitable book/journal. initially i was very moved to get something really nice and expensive, afterall its gonna be an heirloom (even for their children to read about granny Jassy) i pick out the first one. a really nice and smooth, velvety touch, a few colours to choose from. turn around, waaah $17! you must be laughing at me right? somemore i got 10% ha ha ha people buy like $30, $40 one but here i am struggling ho ho ho…

so from leather look-a-like, pretty mini scrap books, stitch bound, staples, elastic, plain covers, paper covers, hard, soft, plastic…all have! pick and choose pick and choose, AH! finally a pretty hard cover with cheap looking single line pages inside, best of all its $5.90! ha ha ha set lah…

as i turn around…MORE CHOICES…hesitating again…

i am a mother of all ngiaos…for the heirloom for my girls, i finally settled on a brown, paper cover, with 4 cartoon humans on it, singles line and its only…

$1.90

my first lesson to my girls inside will be…don’t worry about the cover, seriously, its the inside…

now i worry…20 years later, the pages, once turn, CRUMBLES…

you, my dear readers, can go tell them about their mother’s intention then.

thanks ah!

just realised i haven’t blogged about CHARMAINE. anyway most of you would have already somehow heard a bit of news of her from newpaper or her blog. i first know about her from a Newpaper headline and went online to search about her and follow her ever since.

http://ourfeistyprincess.blogspot.com/

let this blog do the talking.

有钱的出钱了。有力的出力了。the rest is God’s hand…

this charmaine is one brave and cheerful little girl BUT the mother is even more commendable. i’m a mother too…can totally feel her. i don’t need a jialat sitution like her, just some rashes, pink urine and purple shit from 2 monkeys make my world upside down already.

cynthia, 加油！

i ask of you to follow this blog and pray for her.

last Sunday at our mandarin service we worshipped with this song…it just says so much…

祷告 因为我渺小
祷告 因为我知道我需要
明瞭 你心意对我重要

祷告 已假装不了
祷告 因为你的爱我需要
你关怀 我走过的你都明白

有些事我只想要对你说 因你比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下 我知道你为我擦
在早晨我也要来对你说 主耶稣今天我为你活
所需要的力量你天天赐给我 你恩典够我用

他的恩典够你用…

that’s not my birthday ha ha ha read on

so…its been 14months and 2 weeks and a total of 3years and 6months since the birth of victoria and dorothy and i’m proud to say I HAVE NOT DONE ANY FORMAL LOSING WEIGHT.

for victoria i putted on like…what…TWENTY KILOGRAMS and only lost 10 at her birth and became like 72kg forevery BUT thank you dorothy, you didn’t put any weight on me. its amazing! how come one can make me ballooon up so much and the next nothing at all.

so here i am, being really proud of my horrible motherly figure, well not really but i can’t be bothered leh. my skinny friends think its a sin to be ignoring my weight and oh man, MY CLOTHES! that’s all! whatever you see, its WHAT EVER i have. something make me can’t be bothered is that after all the ignoring the weight issue is that I PERMENANTLY LOST 1 KILO of doing nothing and i don’t mean water lost lor…its really the weight. funny. what did i do? upsize my pasta, drink lots of teh peng and eat sugar roll after lunch ha ha ha…ok the only thing that help i guess i suddenly no gian for Coke already. maybe that was my killer.

seeing i shed my ONE mighty kilo. i’m motivated to lose more but i am not going to stop eating! really! cutting down on food is like….I DON’T WANT!! i can’t let go of my pasta, pizza, bak chor mee and teh peng. came a cross a website and i love it from day one…here’s what i gather today.

there you are! to achieve another lost of TEN KILO i can only have 1974calories a day. check out this website man…even bak chor mee’s calories inside!

these are what i usually may eat in a day

breakfast – bok chor mee is 511 (without adding the chilli-oil calaorie)

prawn noodle soup is 294 (i don’t like noodle, bee hoon should be lower in cal)

lunch – chicken nasi briyani is 880!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heng ah i sometime only

chicken rice is 618 – not so bad

dinner – mostly rice – 280!

stir fry mixed vege 117

water cress soup 92

fish…a bit hard to calculate and by the way fish calorie is surprisingly rather high…wah so hard lah

oh even my favourite stingray is only 347.

so you see how hard is it to healthy?! very easy actually! no need to stop eating all the favourite too.

i shall reach 60 kilo happily…in TEN years time!

after the long birthday celebrations the whole week…finally ended with a simple meal with bikermice which happens to be SICK! of all time…oh well nothing surprises or upset me anymore. whatever life give, i take lor…

that is not what sacre me death. THIS did…

1am

vic: waaah i wanna pass urine!!!

i never understand why must kids cry or whine or wail when they wanna sleep, or pass urine..then againg silly me, its freaking 1am. i would whine too if my bladder filled up at that time ha ha ha…THAT is still not the main-dish of today’s entry.

half awake, i guided the whiney victoria to the toilet. i always make her pee in the toilet bowl the moment she was tall enough but tonight, i dunno why, i make her sit on the potty, a white one.

she sat there for a while, then stood up…LO AND BEHOLD! a potty full of PINK URINE! ahhhhhhhhhhh freeeeeeeak out!

urinary tract infection come to my mind, cuz pink mah! maybe got blood in the urine. then i panic and ask if she feels painful wen peeing, she said no. then i ask again, then she answer again NOOOOO! made her drink more water hopfully can clear up. then while worried like mad, she grumpily walk back to the room.

i whipped out my children health book. they also say the same thing as i have guessed. in my mind i also thinking…what if the kidney spoil? ahhhh…i couldn’t sleep, prayed and tell the Lord please make her well if she’s not. i even tear thinking what if i lose her…ok i’m just so drama BUT wait till you become papamama then you know. cannot imagine life without her.

only manage to sleep about an hour later…DING! morning already 6.30am, victoria already up…VICTORIA! quick go pass urine!

AHHH! PINK AGAIN!

quick quick i tabao some pee incase the doc want to see it. we prepare ourself to go polyclinic. i’m hoping to be the first in line. when we reach downstairs…

vic: waaah why dark dark one?

its already 7am but still not bright yet. she still happy and bouncing around. not at all sick. where is the fever? where is the pain? maybe not UTI?

when we reach there, woah! i first time so early but still no.8 in line TO QUEUE FOR REGISTRATION NO. cuz they only issue from 7.30 and they even have Cisco guard to make sure nobody geh geh and jump queue.

while waiting we had a vitagen and a teh. she cannot finish the vitagen!!! i worried again. so yummy but she cannot finish, what’s going on?!

so finally got the no. its 7.45am already. went to the room and waited outside. think they’ll officially start to see patient at 8am but our doc didn’t sashayed in until 8.15!!

earlier at 7.50am…

vic: i wanna pass urine!

me: can control? the doc wanna see your urine later. not enough how?

vic: ah i cannot control anymore!

so i think, aiya pee pee la. at most drink more later and pee for her.

in the toilet

vic: i pass urine…oh i also wanna pass motion.

me: ok do whatever you want

i took a peep in the bowl crossing my fingers. ah! BLACK SAI! oh man! not only UTI, her intestine also bleeding?! die lah jia lat liao!

i clean her bumps with tissue…so weird, how come the sai stain is PURPLE?!

clean again…urine stain is red like blood…

CONFUSED!!

i ask victoria did her grandma gave her any cherries? victoria oh yes yes!

VICTORIA!!! AHHHHH!! you making me go bonkers!

so i called home and explain my little situation here and my MIL says

MIL: ya i gave her dragonfly!

me: DRAGONFLY?!

MIL hands phone to my sister in law

SIL: ya last night we had DRAGON FRUITS! think my dad gave her a lot…

so that explains the pink urine and purple sai lor! such embarrassment for me…why didn’t i think of food stains insted?! thankfully i didn’t rush her to KK A&E. imagine the laughter there? and the $80bucks i have to pay…

i thank GOd for this experience, made me realise this 2 monkeys are so dear to me. sigh…吓死我了！