mothers have the most fun
due to my extreme life, here’s everything i loooooong breath!
i had the most roller coaster with my 2 girls. let’s backtrack to last week…
Dot begin school
it wasn’t going too well…to add on, after the 3rd day she gotten the fever from her Mump Measle Rubella jab from the previous week(i had to jab her cuz no.1 its delayed cuz i forgot and without completing the jabs, she cannot attend school hur hur hur) she never have fever from all the rest of the jabs but dunno why this one she kena. must be the stress from school.
she is having extreme separation anxiety. she creamed till she’s blue, vomit but apparently she stop crying after a while. so kinda like good news for me lah. can’t wait for the day wwe can say good bye amicably.
so after the 3rd day, we gotta deal with dot’s fever. then happy happy again. its victoria’s birthday! she’s grown into a really lovely lady. we had 2 celebration, first was at home.
we got her seated on her high chair cuz she’s a special birthday girl then we light the candles and sang ‘happy birthday to yooou…’ then gradually, she smile and stop and stare at the candles and smile to camera then tears well up in her eyes, she wipe away and force another smile. she was crying!!! after she blew the candles, i ask are you very happy? she said yes. oh man tears of joy…so emo.
we had the 2nd celebration at school. the children are so cute there. sang happy birthday with gusto! after that we went ice skating. something that victoria has been waiting for the longest time cuz skating rules is 4 and above then can skate and so dream fulfilled and she was quite good at it…ah the joy of being young. after the skating, she looked very tired. we went dinner and took taxi home. by the time we reach home, she was scorching HOT! took her temp – 38.5!!!! that, to all non parents, is high fever already. quickly shower her (actually wanted to skip shower cuz she was falling asleep.)gave her paracetamol by the time she sleep again she was still at 38. fever was up and down for 3 whole days with 39.5 the highest. is it dengue, H1N1, hand foot mouth? finally monday everything normal.
so i guess they should be fine for school on tuesday. so on monday i went for my own xray. been having super backache and after sitting down i cannot straighten my back ahhh scared again. it could be muscle strain or WORST tumor??? i have the worst runnig through my brains. gave me sleepless nights! with victoria’s fever, make my back ache even more getting up to check, feeb medicine. thank God for this girl who was very coopoerative this time 
PRAISE THE LORD! my xray was all clear. confirm is muscle strain and bad sitting position. and when i was about to board a bus home, ring ring, hp ring. its the Mother in Law…she say dot fell and crash HER NOSE!!
one thing i learn about motherhood, no matter what happen, stay calm! i calm myself down and went home and this is what i saw
sigh…
thankfully her nose is rather flat. is sharp like ang mo sure break into pieces ha ha ha!
so this morning – both looked fine for school, although victoria toook forever to eat her aggs and threaten to vomit a few time then off we go to school and battle with dorothy separation anxiety.
after all the drama, i went to work..ring ring…SCHOOOL CALL! jia lat. victoria vomitted a few time. no fever. but teacher recommend her to go home. sigh and again went to office and got another sms from my colleague she kena the stomach flu. thank God for my boss, he’s understanding and always allow us to run away to attend to our silly children. thank boss!
everyday i like planning for ‘war’. after school phone call, i call polyclinic then realise must have someform of indentification before they can let you see the doc.
-get my parents to brooooom to my place to take health book
-broooom to school to pick vic
-my mom to taxi to polyclinic register first and wait for me there (if not wait until now also not my turn)
-my dad will brooooom me to the polyclinic
thought my plan was perfect AND THEN mum called to say, school also say Dot got the fever, was ask to bring her home too! then mum say she took both to the polyclinic, without dot’s health book. haiya! if call earlier then can take all health book once short!
so now my dad needa to brooooom me here and brooooo me there! and finally i was brooooooming to clinic and i heard CRASH! and saw a van topple in front of me! and nobody help the driver out. i can’t stop, so i called the police on the bike. hope driver’s fine…
after a long day, final dignosis
-victoria’s having the viral. may not be dengue cuz no other symptom. although no more fever, still needa rest for 2 days.
- dot nose is not broken, red red in the left nostril and swelling on the right.
phew…what a long entry.
i have so much more to share BUT as you can read, i’m so busy.
but i;m glad i can still be part of my church’s one year devotional plan. i’m so glad God is always in my life…always so real. pray for my family.
missed her pretty nose
妈妈的眼睛
妈妈的眼睛
我最喜爱
常常的希望
我做个好小孩
妈妈的眼睛
我最喜爱
when victoria sang that song today, i cried.
today i received news, my tuition student’s mother passed away. she’s only 38. leaving behind her husband and 3 daughters and the youngest, a P6 this year, was my tuition student.
i cannot say Pei Yan was my friend. she was just the mother of my student whom i discuss about the progress of her child with her. my student was not the brightest child in the class. she’s veeeery quiet and does her work slowly. although concerned, Pei Yan never scold or niam niam niam my student infront me or rather, she’ll agree with me whenever i say ‘give her more time. she can do it.’
there was a saturday, when she came to pick her up, not to go home but to bring my student my her other 2 daughters to catch Bae Yong Jun! oh how i remember the excitement on the 4 ladies faces, quietly giggling.
what i gather from her friend today, she’s been suffering some gastric ailment. i’m not sure what is it call. she didn’t know she was in critical condition 2 years ago, husband knew…sometime during the dec school holiday, her condition worsened, she was finally told she only have abouth a month to live. her friend recall, Pei yan cried everyday after. during the chrismas season when we were all struggling with shopping bags, she was struggling in the hospital with water retention, apparently her stomach rupture. the last time i heard the word rupture was the doc telling me if i try natural birth i have 1% chance of womb rupture. i so cannot imagine what she went through.
i told my friend ’so sad, she’s so young…’ my friend replied, ‘its not how long you live…’ i understood him. STILL! so sad…
every child love their mother to death! good mother or bad mother, every child loved their mother. people say ‘aiyah, children, won’t think much one lah’ i agreed. but when night crept in…you would wanna smell your mom near you, feel her touch, hear her soothing voice telling you everything is ok.
as usual, i feel this way cuz i feel that’s what my vic and dot will need from me. as a mother, i can feel Pei Yan’s last moment. i need not elaborate further, you know what i mean…
one thing i’m sure, my student will never get to see her 妈妈的眼睛 anymore.
i can’t help it
why? my dearest readers you ask ‘where have your little ones and you been?’
when you ask me again, i will tell you…MEANWHILE I’M BACK IN BUSINESS!
now i’m extremly kancheongspider over my coming production – ShowOffSix
from day 1 of audition, until now, its been coming 3 months but officially the cast only started rehearsal somewhere in october.
totaled offered roles: 10
rejected: 2
last minute pulled out (as in JUST): 1
it was going well, until the bomb was dropped on photoshoot night. such a pity, she was quite a talent for a first timer on stage.
then the search has begin. i offered to this and to that but non came back with good news…kinda good news – I’M ACTING IT! whoohooo i loved this script…then the moment i begin reading and trying to direct myself, i found it so hard! acting is hard! i salute all you in ShowOffSix and all the rest of the actors in the world. i think i prefer directing. i can place the actors anywhere, anyhow i like them to be on my canvas.
we really wanted a newbie or someone who have done theatre before to do the monologue, afterall its showoff. but to console the committee…ladies and gentleman, THIS IS MY FIRST OFFICIAL MONOLOGUE so i fit the bill!! dun feel so bad stealing the show now ha ha…
i’m so happy people around has been supportive in action – lending me recording device for sound lah, giving legal advise lah, dun mind companying me airport in the wee morning (even though that didn’t happen at the end BUT its the thought that counts!) throwing in their help anywhere EVERYWHERE…SO TOUCH.
next YOU can do something for me…BUY TICKETS lah!
come and give the ultimate support to the cast of ShowOffSix!
here’s a peep at their photoshoot.
small girl big dreams
since the airing of Channel U – 明星志工队, victoria and i have been catching it every thursday. i want her to see the harsh condition in the many countries the celebrities that goes to help. she doesn’t know the celebrities of course and i don’t think the people they help know that they will be on TV.
every episode moves me. makes me feel really small not being able to help them get out of their poverty. i can only watch and say ’so poor thing. appreciate your life victoria!’ that’s all i can do. but how many of us out there have the ability to help but ignore.
how many of us are still complaining the foreign workers taking nap at theor void deck during lunch time make their area ugly (wabiang! this is real report in the papers ok?! give the workers (foreign or local) a break please!)
i think its a shame that my kids can practically wear something different every sunday to church for a whole year (if i bother digging the hundreds of clothes in many toyogo boxes) most of their clothes are hand me downs but stil so many! and kids of those country wear the same clothe the whole year (realise there’s no ’s’ in clothe).
my kids have toys that is enough for the whole village children to play and my situation is already consider as ‘normal amount’ here.
my kids can play in water featured garden with clean water when those children dying of drinking filthy water cuz of thirst.
whenever victoria food drops on the table, i’ll put it back into the bowl and eat again. many people feel i did the worst thing but with the thought of hungry children in my mind, i rather walk to the tap and wash it and give her again (guilty! i dun wash them, i just chuck it in their mouth IF the table are ok to my eyes lah)
people here are whining their pay kena cut 10%, they can’t finance their car, their kids have to cut 1 enrichment course out of their 10…people there live base on their catch of the day (if they have, if there’s none…you can imagine)
some of you may say its not fair to compare but i guess at least what we can do here is – whine less, help people around (but dun kena the cheaters), appreciate life, volunteer your time – i know you need a rest day but the difference you make bringing lunch to an elderly make a whole world of difference to them. don’t a be a rich pesticide.
make a difference to the world, make a difference to your life.
since the first episode by a taiwanese host ‘ah bu’, building library, filling it with new books for the szechuan quake children, victoria wants to do the same too. she will once in while suddenly tell me…
‘UH OH! we forgot to build a school for the children.’
‘don’t forget to build a library’
‘they can have my books…except the Dr Suess’
at first i tell her, let’s give what we dun want to the children there since you have som many toys and books…then i quickly change my sentence. why should we give something we dun want to the children? then i told her, what is most precious to you, it’ll be the best for the children there. let’s give Dr Suess to their library.
i can see her face change, but didn’t respond to that. thn change topic…’er…how about the these?’
one day…one day, i hope she will understand.
i’m gonna keep her dream alive, and she will help build school and library and teach other 3years old to read.
wanna join in this big dream to build libraries in Indonesia and India? email me
smile
dear readers,
i sing this song every night to my children but i can’t have you in my arms and sing for you, so i got him to do the job. this is for you. have a great weekend
…just smile
is that all?
how strange i have reached…32.
what have i achieved? let’s see…nothing much ha ha ha some of you may consider that giving birth to children is an achievement. hmmm i dun think so leh. i guess the children achievement can only tell when they are grown up and live their life. i hope they are my achievement.hope i live to see that day too.
a lot of us go through the same motion -
baby
roll over
crawl
walk
run
school
school
more school
go poly/uni and do something you think is right (business, money, law…)
work in somewhere you think is right (MNC, bank, lawyering)
then you decide that’s not wat you want and beginning to think of an outlet, even if its to waste your 10years of studying…my my so many years of studies then you decide to go plant tree, dance or sell muffin.
is that all to life?
32 is sorta in the middle of life. life is really short isn’t it. have you enjoyed enough? or stuck somewhere dunno what’s going on or where you going next.
my girls stupid next time never mind. i just hope and pray that they will be kind to people. be considerate and nice. its really important that they have a lot of EQ then IQ. i want them to be compassionate to others. place others before themselves. i know, some of you may think – jia lat liao like sure kena one. then my next hope is they are diligent also lah cannot bodoh bodoh and kena from others. dunno how to do algebra nehmind lah. just have a kind heart. i’ve some across graduate with good jobs acting like the worstest pesticide in the world. so what if you have degree?
maybe i feeling the midlife. what have i done so far?
last sunday’s sermon just reminded us, cannot just know Christ but live like Christ. being christian is hard work. have i gotten that faith? have i begin the great commission? have i tell another one about Him? yikes i dunno how much time will i have to achieve all that God want us to do with our life.
quick quick DO IT! be kind to one another and be a blessing to someone today.
russshhhhh….
morning. 7.34am.
me: ahh! quick get up! gotta rush again!
vic: why rush?
me: i have to rush to work
vic: i also have to rush to school
me: oh…what will you be rushing to in school
vic: … play toys
me: *roll eyes*
heirloom
i have decided i shall leave a heirloom for my girls…BUT i no money, no jewellery and nowadays most things very biodegrable that means everything will turn to dust…no wonder people leave their children gold and stocks and shares and houses…oh man jia lat leh…
nevertheless…i have decided, i shall leave my children a my-thoughts book. a book with all my feelings about them. somewhat like a blog but i worry one day internet no longer exist ha ha ha in case lah. i remember i use to put pictures up Yahoo photos but didn;t go back there long time. by the time i try to go and see my ROM pictures ITS GONE! and apparently its a forever gone thing! so there, wordpress may not be here when victoria is 15 .
what i worry is what if i die suddenly? i have so much to tell, teach and share with my girls. shits! what if i die before i can even start penning all my thoughts down for them.
so with that in my brains, i went to popular to choose a really suitable book/journal. initially i was very moved to get something really nice and expensive, afterall its gonna be an heirloom (even for their children to read about granny Jassy) i pick out the first one. a really nice and smooth, velvety touch, a few colours to choose from. turn around, waaah $17! you must be laughing at me right? somemore i got 10% ha ha ha people buy like $30, $40 one but here i am struggling ho ho ho…
so from leather look-a-like, pretty mini scrap books, stitch bound, staples, elastic, plain covers, paper covers, hard, soft, plastic…all have! pick and choose pick and choose, AH! finally a pretty hard cover with cheap looking single line pages inside, best of all its $5.90! ha ha ha set lah…
as i turn around…MORE CHOICES…hesitating again…
i am a mother of all ngiaos…for the heirloom for my girls, i finally settled on a brown, paper cover, with 4 cartoon humans on it, singles line and its only…
$1.90
my first lesson to my girls inside will be…don’t worry about the cover, seriously, its the inside…
now i worry…20 years later, the pages, once turn, CRUMBLES…
you, my dear readers, can go tell them about their mother’s intention then.
thanks ah!
That FIESTY mother
just realised i haven’t blogged about CHARMAINE. anyway most of you would have already somehow heard a bit of news of her from newpaper or her blog. i first know about her from a Newpaper headline and went online to search about her and follow her ever since.
http://ourfeistyprincess.blogspot.com/
let this blog do the talking.
有钱的出钱了。有力的出力了。the rest is God’s hand…
this charmaine is one brave and cheerful little girl BUT the mother is even more commendable. i’m a mother too…can totally feel her. i don’t need a jialat sitution like her, just some rashes, pink urine and purple shit from 2 monkeys make my world upside down already.
cynthia, 加油！
i ask of you to follow this blog and pray for her.
last Sunday at our mandarin service we worshipped with this song…it just says so much…
祷告 因为我渺小
祷告 因为我知道我需要
明瞭 你心意对我重要
祷告 已假装不了
祷告 因为你的爱我需要
你关怀 我走过的你都明白
有些事我只想要对你说 因你比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下 我知道你为我擦
在早晨我也要来对你说 主耶稣今天我为你活
所需要的力量你天天赐给我 你恩典够我用
他的恩典够你用…
