Life is such
Today theatre veteran, emma yong died. Today my child dropped her first milk tooth. Today someone sturggling with mental illness contemplated with suicidal thoughts.
When I heard the news of emma’s passing, a part of me felt such a pity to lose a wonderful talent, another part of me felt proud of her for living her life to fullest although only a short 36 yrs. And she hv brought so much joy with her role as part of the dim sum dollies. I’m proud to say i’ve been entertained by her before. Thank you emma, you rock girl!
Last night victoria was worried she might swallow her teeth in her sleep but she woke this morning, to her joy, the first milk Tooth was out with a gentle flick using her tongue. No blood! With that she enter the next phase of her life. From milk teeth to a full set of adult teeth, ready to eat and chew variety of food which she will enjoy with friends, family and future husband. I’m glad to witness my child’s tender moment. Time is zooming past us so quick, now she is 6, next thing I know, she’ll probably tell me she’s migrating to a better way of life and not needing me to hold her hands to sleep anymore (i just rejected her request of ‘can u hold me hand to sleep’ which I replied ‘no! Just close ur eyes lah!’ ah learning to be independence is painful.)
I overheard my friend’s conversation, encouraging another friend ‘…look forward to life…Dun think of suicidal thoughts…its ok to not able to work…do simpler job…i’m suffering the same too…we can do it together…’ sometime, I think too lightly of these people with mental problem. They’ve dealing/struggling for as long as they live. They hv to deal w the illness AND how people treat or look at them. I am guilty sometime for not taking them seriously as they repeat their problem the 157th time to me. I must and will treat them with patient from now on.
That’s the thing about life. Its not how long we are alive. You could die at 6, 36, 60 or 90, its how you lived your life. What have you been doing these days? Fighting for yourself or others? Bearing grudges with one another? Complaining u dun hv enough? Dun waste ur life away.
Bless someone today.
Wadsapp :)
Before u left that day, we were having the worst fried rice, ever, in changi airport. I made u signed a cheque to pay off the income tax. That’s prob the last cheque u sign. Wish I can ask it back and frame it up. Wonder what they do with those chqs after its been cleared….burn them?
You paid for my share and somemore ask me me to keep the change cuz u dun wanna bring lose notes and coins. While we had the horrible fried rice (apparently tong lok grp…they should look into revamping it man) you ask me to turn off your data on your brand new phone. I taught you some function. I always help u with your computer, printer, handphone…then i told u I abt Wadsapp. Say when u return I will install for you so we send messges non stop, for free. As usual u smile and say ok. It wld be so much fun if u cld wadsapp me today. Surely we will talk abt our frustration which will become hilarious at the end of the conversation.
That’s u lah, just laugh it off. What worst can happen right?
Onion
I always feel sorry for my elder child. She’s a nice, sweet, quiet girl.
She’s my first born. So small at birth, so precious at first sight. At 2 months, to my horror, i dropped her face down, splat, on the floor. It has been a long night of caring and breastfeeding. I was tired, I was sleepy, I was weak. After leaving her to suckle at my left breast…the rest was history. Some say I pushed her off the bed! I wld say she roll off the bed (ok at 2 mths they dun move BUT some say, babies surprises you. Mine was a big surprise) then again at 6months (dunno why). I say, when she grow up and cannot do maths, just tell the teacher ‘my mother drop me when I was young, head first. Therefore sir, I cannot solve your question.’ I suspected all this falling has also made her clumsy. She walk, she’ll fall, she’ll crash cameras (twice…no more cameras for her), she was trying to jump on a bus seats and missed it, landed on the floor.
We’ve trying to do a sch project – planting onion and recording its growth. Nothing happen to ours after a week of tender loving care (she’s worried I drown it), while the rest can harvest spring onions already! So the teacher say, bring to school. Most flourished in school. So today, we decided to bring the onion to school. We pour out the water to prevent spillage, leaving just the moist cotton, put in a bag and left hm. I reminded my elder to hold on to the bag carefully. Once we reach our void deck, she dropped it! I was so mad! Reprimanded her not taking care lah, even smelly also must hold one dearly to it…blah blah…then we went to the bank. She stuck w me at the counter and dropped the onion AGAIN! I was busy at the counter, still must watch her and the onion…so angry. When all was settled, I told her the onion is a living thing, like a baby, dun drop it any how. When u were a baby I didn’t….my voice trial off…the fact it I dropped her, TWICE.
Finally we delivered the poor bruise onion to the school without anymore mishap. Anyway I suspect the onion’s dead, as in it cannot grow further like the rest did. Promised her we’ll try again.
By the way, she’s brilliant at maths.
Eskimo Love
When it was time to enter primary 1, my sister is already in primary 3. The tuckshop always amazes me with wide variety of food and snacks. I remember clearly I had fishball beehoon soup on my first day at Beatty Primary School. The fishball was miserably small but was definitely satisfying.
In tuckshop 1, There was that fishball mee stall, a stall that sells all kinds of crackers (remember kaka and ding dang?) and a drink stall that sell 10c cold drink. Tuckshop 2 have a muslim stall that sell watery curry rice and very nice mee rebus…or meesiam? Can’t remember. And there was a stall that sells curry pup, sugared swiss roll, yucky cream cone AND ice cream! There was the nice cold icy green lime or orange flavoured ice lollies. Amongst the many choices (oh yes there were many to choose in the 80s) was a gold bar…an ESKIMO PIE. i can’t find the actual image but the below is close. imagine the yellow part as gold.
Everyday, my sister and I receive 50c each for our recess. Everyday, I will walk by the ice cream stall and say good morning to my Eskimo Pie wrapped in gold foil. I never buy it. I only imagine eating it. The eskimo pie cost a hefty sum of 40c! Man…that means my money will be all gone. Day after day, I suck the cold 10c green ice lolliies and stare at the gold bar.
one day, i can resist no more. the moment i reached school i just went straight to the stall and give aunty my huge 50c coin and say ‘i want eskimo pie’ my heart beat very fast. its like the first time you are just about to kiss a boy. or the first time you put 80% of your salary to buy an LV card holder. i’m more of the former as i have never purchase a LV hahaha…she returned me my balance 10c and next to come was the cold, frozen eskimo pie. i walk away proudly from the stall. the wrapper glisten in the sun. i slowly unwrap the golden wrapper, behind revealed chocolatey cover, but i knew inside was vanilla. just as i was about to put my excited lips to the it, i hear a familiar voice
‘WHAT ARE YOU EATING??’ my sister shouted ‘you are eating eskimo pie?? its 40c you know?! silly girl! what are you going to eat at recess then?! huh?’
i replied ‘er…the 10c ice lolly? you wanna try some of the eskimo pie?’ i dun remember if she did take a bite, but i know she was mad with me for spending the money like that. because of that i dun remember how the eskimo pie really taste like, maybe it bacame tasteless after looking at the piss of sister face.
come recess time, i was ready to have another ice lolly. then here comes my heroic sister. she was searching for me and just before i spend my last 10c on the…probably lime flavoured lolly, she hand me 20c. remember she also only have 50c, which means she sacrifice her pocket money, so that we both now have 30c each. that’s my sister. even until today its like that. not that i spend all my money on good ice cream ha ha…more like, she’s surely is there whenever i’m in deep shit…we are always in deep shit, together.
i can’t remember what did i eat with that 30c, but its definitely not an ice cream.
Love u, love u not
Guess its the tv show n the book i’m reading that gets my mind working again.
This thing called love, I just can’t handle it…or so michael buble sings happily abt…crazy little thing called love. I’ve been in love, out of love, secret love, unknown-to-my-friend love, puppy love, stupid love, blindly loved…so many mix emotions.
I’ve been pursued *ahem* many times before but sad to say, I fall too fast in love most of the time. I didn’t wait long enough. Worry i’ll lose the opportunity, worried i’ll be left on the shelf. And as fast as I fall in love, I fall out of love too. Guess I misread my own emotion most of the time haha dun even know myself what more to have another person in my life.
There are waaaaay too many love story to share, and KN can even help chip in some to my love story. Where do I begin…la la la…That will def be another day for them. But hey, those are great memory, happy or sad (oh yes, some of u broke my heart youthful hearts before) thanks boys, thanks.
There r Things that I wished I knew then, but its true when u r in love, u become blind AND deaf AND defensive. U can’t see what’s right or wrong. U only think u r right. U feel good. Even when its all wrong, and God say no, and u know it. u still prob say ‘God, maybe its from u?’ pfft, denial mostly. I speak for myself.
If u really, truly love this friend of yours, for once forget abt ur own gain (even how wonderful this person is) and do what’s best him/her. Ask ourselves, are my action encouraging him to love God more, am I communicating clearly and in a way that helps her, does the way I dress encourage him to have pure thoughts? Sound like old fashion ‘square’ question right? then remember build each other up, not bring each other down. ”by this all men will know, that u r my disciples, if u love one another.” like ex boss always says ‘whatever u do affects another person’
People of any age are affected by love. we adults (oh man, i’m an adult) are swayed by emotions too. But We can still stop to take stock at any age. Its painful enough to remove a stubborn white head, what more to stop a full of love relation (a lot of effort u know). But its worth the stop, so to carry on.
If u r married, I hope u remain faithful (remember those promises u made before God? Forgotten? Play ur expensive high def wedding video), if u are single w a possible God sent partner, put ur needs aside n continue to serve this person, take ur time to savour each phase of courtship. So much more to say…in short, let’s be obedient to God.
I struggle too. Whatever we gone through, I just hope we can look back at our journey without any regrets.
These are just random thoughts…gosh 1.50am… Need to go airport at 6am…yawn…
Donut n guppy
I remember your mrs and you are always so ready to give. Everytime we go out together with our children and if any of our children want something, u two never say no and will follow their wishes and give them.
Be it a longkang guppy from a farm or a colourful donut, which i’m sure my kids won’t eat after buying, you’ll gladly buy it for them. The guppy died shortly but it brought so much happiness at that moment.
And I want to tell you, recently B and V missed u and ur voice. And they know its different without you. So do i. How nice if u cld keep your promose and babysit…yes u did say ‘anytime!’
your favourite place
At Thomson plaza now. remind me of you.
We had a meeting here once. Dot was in a stroller. Vic push the supermarket gate which swing back and slam on dot face. Funny. Wonder if you Remember?
Tears in my eyes
My godpa is like a father, like a dad. I’ve always been wanting to blog abt him. There’s so much write that I won’t able to finish in one sitting or or standing – i’m ‘writing’ this standing in a bus.
Everyday we talk on the phone. I’m here, he’s there. We can’t see each other as much as we want. But indeed distance does the trick of making the hearts fonder. I see my mom almost every other day, so do the maths haha
Our conversation always begin with ‘how’s thing?’ in cantonese, he’ll laugh and follow by same topic ‘oh it rained heavily/it didn’t rain/so hot/breakfast/lunch/dinner’ then we’ll move into the story of the day.
Today’s story is abt kids abduction. I was telling him the sudden flooding of news of kids been taken away by strangers here. He then tell me the story that brought tears to his eyes.
My godpa lived with my family since…forever! My dad always had problem managing his carpentry business and is almost, always, in debt. One day, my parents told my godpa they have to go back to malaysia for a funeral. So they left my sister and I w godpa. Early one morning, abt 5am, or like my godpa say, when its was the sweetest part of the sleep, came a hurrying knock on the door. When he opened, before him wer 2 man. Apparently they are the dai-yi-long! In other word, loansharks.
As drama as it could be, they of cuz were looking for my dad. Saying ‘pay up, if not, we’ll take the children! Ah the elder one will be useful.’ upon telling me this part of the story, godpa say ‘everytime, I remember this, my tears want to flow out. I’ll give them anything! But I got no money, buy they want my id, I give! Anything to keep u both safe.’ THAT make my tears want to flow out too. By now, u shd hv guessed my folks ‘abandon’ us and flee. I dun feel much abt that part tho.
Now that I have 2 girls of my own, I can imagine his feelings at that moment. Lost, fear, sacrifice. My godpa may seem scaredy cat over the most smallest things but he is my hero for protecting us in times of trouble.
He’s the man.
Not that dad isn’t one, that’ll be another story.
Joy
Joy is when I see they give their bestest, farouritest pillow and blankie for their most-loved bear, Poomeepaamaa (dot named him…there’s another bracelet named beezooo) motherhood has begun…girls
